Admissions Interview
Kevin Ninomiya
808-227-9375
ninomiyak001@hawaii.rr.com

Private School Admissions Essay

 

Many students do not realize how important it is to have a well-written writing sample for the private school admissions process. It is not just a simple miscellany of personal information. It is a translation of the student’s personality and intellectual ability, along with his or her elementary or middle school experiences, onto a few pieces of paper.

 

A foremost tool an applicant has to express his or her uniqueness is the admissions essay. Topics range from the specific (“Discuss a book that has influenced you”) to the extremely general (“Tell us something meaningful about you”). More often than not, admissions officers will give an open-ended writing prompt in an attempt to solicit creative answers that reveal something personal about the applicant. This is because they are inundated with formulaic essays. In a given day, the private school admissions committee goes over hundreds of essays. When they finally come across one that is unusual or funny, they are overjoyed.

 

 

 

Basic 4 + 4 + 5 Writing Strategy:

 

First Paragraph:

Sentence #1:  General Sentence on Topic

Sentence #2:  “First, …”           (Main Idea #1)

Sentence #3:  “Second, …”       (Main Idea #2)

Sentence #4:  General Sentence on Topic

 

Second Paragraph:

Sentence #1:  General Sentence on Main Idea #1

Sentence #2:  “First, …”   or   “For example, …”

Sentence #3:  “Second, …”   or   “Also, …”   or   “Next, …”

Sentence #4:  “Third, …”   or   “Finally, …”   or   “Last, …”  

  

Third Paragraph:

Sentence #1:  General Sentence on Main Idea #2

Sentence #2:  “First, …”   or   “For example, …”

Sentence #3:  “Second, …”   or   “Also, …”   or   “Next, …”

Sentence #4:  “Third, …”   or   “Finally, …”   or   “Last, …”  

Sentence #5:  “In conclusion, …”   (Summarizes both Main Ideas)

 

Link: Sample Essay Using the 4 + 4 + 5 Strategy

 

 

 

Sample Writing Prompts

Why do you want to attend this school?

Describe an event that has had an impact on your life.

Describe a person who has had a great influence on your life.

Describe a tradition in your family.

Tell us about the best/worst day in your life.

If you had to design an amusement park, what would you do?

If you could have a super power, what would it be?

If you had three wishes, what would you wish for?

If you had your own planet, what would you do to make it the best planet in the universe?

If you found a $100 bill on the floor of the school office, what would you do?

What is your idea of a good teacher?

If you were governor, what would you do to improve the quality of life in Hawaii?

If you were principal, what would you do to improve your school?

What would you do on a weekend if you had no homework or other obligation?

 

 

 

Sample Essay Using the 5 + 5 + 6 Strategy

Writing Prompt: “Tell us why you chose tutoring as a career.”

I encourage students to use transition words and conjunctions, which help in the structure and flow of each sentence and paragraph.

 

     jWorking with students individually or in small groups in mathematics and test preparation has been a blessing for me for over a decade. kFirst, I am fortunate because I have an opportunity to work with some of the brightest, most talented, and most motivated children Hawaii has to offer. lMany of my pupils possess God-given abilities in sports, dance and martial arts, which increase their chances for admittance to Oahu’s top private schools. mNot only are parents supportive of my programs and methods, but also are understanding regarding my availability and tutoring locations. nFinally, working afternoons, evenings and weekends is great, since it allows me to be involved in school-based test preparation programs in the mornings.

     jFor years, I worked as a classroom teacher in the public schools, in community college and at a national test preparation company, but private tutoring has given me a better opportunity to help learners on a personal and emotional level. kIndividualized attention can assist kids of all levels grasp academic basics even as school systems move on to more complex concepts mandated by set curriculums. lIn addition, students having difficulty in a particular area of standardized testing or secondary math benefit from my program, as few people are equally good at every subject. mOn the other hand, one-on-one instruction can ensure that advanced scholars remain challenged, since customized lessons can go at an accelerated pace appropriate for such students. nLast, if I can show a future doctor, engineer or policeman a glimpse of his or her unlimited academic potential, then I can begin to convince the young dreamer of the importance of scholastic building blocks.  

     jAlthough having different mentors can provide complementary points of view, having a single experienced point of contact facilitating multiple aspects of the educational process has its advantages. kFor instance, my experience writing training guides allows me to design exacting programs of study to maximize student success. lAlso, I can diagnose areas of strength and weakness, prescribe an appropriate course of study and see into the mind’s eye of the child, since I have worked with hundreds of students over periods of four to twelve months. mFurthermore, I can service families from the East, West and Windward sides of Oahu at convenient tutoring locations in Kahala, Kaimuki and Liliha. nFinally, each child is endowed with a unique learning personality, so it is my responsibility to uncover its secrets to make best use of life-changing gifts. oIn conclusion, my career as a professional tutor is extremely rewarding because I can play a central role in enhancing a student’s academic and professional destiny.

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